The Podwits

Is a David Yates-directed Doctor Who a good thing? Time Lord only knows, but I will say this… there is a lot to consider about the news that the Harry Potter helmer is getting ready to pilot the TARDIS of a new Doctor Who film. My gut reaction is that this could be a really good thing. But then I sat down and started to really wonder just what we’re dealing with and what we should look forward to.

In our first podcast, Dion, Brian and I talked about what a Yates Who film would be like… but afterwards, I started to really think this out. And while some of my friends are overjoyed by the news, I think there’s a lot to consider here:

1) The Writer – This is the obvious next hurdle that this film would have to overcome to be any good at all. What you need here is a writer who understands the subject material, and who understands what needs to be said versus what can be said.

The 1996 film was a classic example of the latter over the former. In the 2005 TV reboot, Russell T. Davies and his crew did it right. They backed into the mythology of Doctor Who, rather than trying to shoehorn it all into one or two episodes. But just as important as that, you need someone who can find the Doctor’s voice. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Sure, The Doctor is an alien. Anyone can write alien. The Doctor is more than that. He’s also, essentially, British.

2) The Actor – This is another really easy hurdle to identify and difficult one to get past. So many people have come out with their top lists of famous actors to play the Time Lord. In the words of an alien from another program, “Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting: it is not logical, but it is often true.” I find this is the case when discussing actors to play the Doctor. Sure, I’m an American and therefore not nearly as familiar with the pre-Who careers of the actors who have played the Doctor as an Englishman would be.  But for me, with some minor exceptions, I think the Doctors worked because they were more or less unknown prior.  At least that’s what I take away as an American.  I know the British experience is a little different.  But much like Superman, the Doctor can work when you see just the Time Lord and not the actor playing him.

3) The Studio/Producers – Here’s where we get a little more complex.  If Kevin Smith’s Jon Peters/Superman story has taught us anything, it’s that even with a good writer/director, there are still some hands that can royally screw up the brew.  It’s a foregone conclusion that BBC Worldwide will be involved somehow.  BUT, it seems likely to me that for a full-on film to be made, there would probably have to be a studio involved.  This is where things can get a little dicey.  If a studio puts too many dollar signs in front of our famous Police Box, then it’s very likely that some rather unfortunate changes will be made to our beloved Doctor.  “We need a sex scene.” “Can the TARDIS have a cockpit for a laser turret?” “Can we make the Doctor half human?” (?!?!?!)

The weird part is that there really isn’t much you can do to the Doctor that wasn’t done over 30+ years on television.  “How about a robot sidekick?” (K-9).  “Can we add a scantily clad companion?” (Leela)  “How about a love interest?” (Rose Tyler) “Give him lots of gadgets!” (The Pertwee Years) “We need toyetic monsters/aliens!” (Daleks, Cybermen) “He needs to fight a giant spider!!!” (Planet of the Spiders).

So from a certain perspective, even the concept itself is idiot-proof, and yet… if we’re not careful…there just might be nipples molded onto his jumper.

4) The Budget – This goes a bit hand-in-hand with the studio, but it’s no less a very valid issue.  Doctor Who has notoriously been done on a shoestring budget, sometimes to its detriment.  But the fact remains that if you’re going to go through the motions of actually making film, it should be cinematic in scope and scale and should not be done on a shoestring (watch Dr. Who and the Daleks if you don’t believe me.)

HBO has been showing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 a lot lately.  It’s been appropriate in helping me pin down this exact point.  With a good studio backing (Warner Bros.) and with a nice budget, Mr. Yates was able to create the world of Harry Potter, with all its dangers and exotic locations (battles in the sky, a forest in the middle of nowhere, or the Ministry of Magic).  There were set pieces and location shoots and computer-generated environments, and due to a decent budget and careful crafting, these were well executed. CG has been a godsend for filmmaking in some respects.  And yet, when underfunded and underperformed, it becomes even more transparent than just about any other kind of special effect out there.  And if the Doctor is going to the big screen, he’d better do it in style.

5) The Little Things – As a film, JJ Abrams’ Star Trek wasn’t that bad.  As a Trek fan, I was happy to  go along for the ride.  Only two story points made me shiver, and neither had anything to do with canon or a lack thereof.  That was my overall review of the film.  This is not to say that the fan in me wasn’t disappointed by a few things.  I call them “nits to pick.”

Hearing Majel Roddenberry’s voice come from the computer was nice.  Having just about every other sound the computer made be replaced was a bit jarring.  The Enterprise didn’t sound like herself.  And while we’re at it, she didn’t look like herself either.  She looked like her bloated second cousin.  Sure, there was a resemblance, but she just felt wrong.

That said, if the TARDIS materializes without the famous VWORP, VWORP sound… or if she’s not a 1960’s style Police Box… there is going to be trouble.  If Ron Grainer’s theme isn’t there, there will be trouble.  If you disagree, go make an Inspector Spacetime film… I’m sure you’ll be much happier.

What brought all this to my mind was a simple exercise.  Try it yourself and let me know what you come up with:
Close your eyes.  Picture the green slate that comes up in theaters saying THIS PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA.

Then it goes to black.  Maybe the BBC logo pops in and fades back out.  What comes next?  A DAVID YATES FILM… COMING SOON…

The key to this, by the way, is not to imagine what you want to see, so much as what you expect to see given what you know.  Let me know what you see.  I’m curious.