Eating on the Dark Side

Posted: 5th January 2012 by J. Marcus in Food, Science Fiction
Tags: ,

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been less excited for a film in years than I am for the release of Star Wars: Episode I in 3-D.  Same actually goes for the sequels.  Maybe when you hit Episode IV, I might be willing to plunk down the incredibly exorbitant cost to go see it, though I tend to doubt it.  I’ve given George Lucas enough of my money.

Though that doesn’t mean I’m ready to call it quits on tie-ins.  Especially not one as incredibly tantalizing and disgusting as this!

According to the Huffington Post, Belgian fast food chain Quick is offering promotional burgers to tie in with EPISODE I’s re-release.

They come in three varieties.  The first is a DARK BURGER reminiscent of Darth Maul.  Or at least, it’s dark because it’s got dark sprinkly stuff on it which could just be some creative seasoning.  Even the cheese has dark stuff in it.  Then there’s the JEDI BURGER which is a much kindler, gentler burger with light colored bits all around.  I haven’t been able to figure out what all that stuff is up top.  It could be anything from cheese bits to apple.  Whatever it is, it looks significantly less appetizing than the DARK BURGER.  But you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Feast your eyes on the ultimate dark burger… THE DARK VADOR!

Yup, it’s true.  The bun of the DARK VADOR burger is, in fact, BLACK!  I have absolutely no idea how they’ve managed to pull that off, but I can only imagine what it would do to your digestive tract.  More importantly, I can imagine what kind of surprise it would leave for you on the way out.  All I can say is, it’s not an intestinal infection, it’s just a lot of black dye.

Anyway, if there’s anyone visiting Belgium in the near future who can drop the Podwits a line and let us know what they’re like, we’d be very grateful.

But spare us the details of the aftermath please 🙂