And… Science Does It Again

Posted: 19th January 2012 by J. Marcus in Food
Tags: , ,

Last night, as I was browsing the local Walgreens for something to eat, I stumbled upon literally the last thing I expected to find in the candy aisle (that could still be classified as a candy bar).

A 3 Musketeers COCONUT Bar…

The first thing you notice about this new and unlikely product after you get over the fact that it’s a bloody 3 Musketeers COCONUT Bar is that, unlike its older brother, this package comes with two smaller bars.

The two mini bars also seem to be slightly shorter than your average bar.  Other than the apparent size differences, the texture looks very much like your everyday 3 Musketeers bar. 

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Looking at the inside of one of the minibars, however, gives you a frightening glimpse of science gone mad.  It looks just like your average 3 Musketeers bar… meaning that, in addition to the standard texture, YOU DON’T SEE ANY PIECES OF COCONUT ON THE INSIDE.

Now I know what you’re saying.  “But J, just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there!  Surely the pieces could have been ground so finely that they are not apparent?  Maybe you’re just not looking deeply enough?  Maybe they used coconut oil?”

All good observations.  Let’s consult the candy’s text (a/k/a the ingredients), shall we?

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Let’s see now… the closest thing I could find to coconut is the COCOA which appears quite a few times on the list, but which we know has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ACTUAL COCONUTS!

Now this isn’t the first time that such a thing has happened.  Take for example, COCONUT M&M’s.  As was once pointed out by both myself and my co-blogger Lauren over at the now-defunct A CASE OF THE MUNCHIES blog, they also had no actual coconut in them.  As I recall, they were surprisingly good considering.
So, armed with that knowledge, I decided to take the plunge and find out what these 3 Musketeers Coconut bars tasted like.
The best analogue I can come up with would be a Mounds bar, if it had been made with milk chocolate instead of dark (or an Almond Joy without the almond).  As with the M&M’s, the best part of this whole experience is getting the coconut flavor without actually spending the next two hours chewing on random coconut bits still left in your mouth.  Much like “ladies of the night”, you buy it, it gives you pleasure, and when you’re done, you’re done.  No awkward lingering.
For those of you on a health kick, here are the so-called nutritional facts for this tasty treat:
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If you’re not into “Frankenfood” (like our good friend Brian Zino), then these are probably not for you.  But if you don’t really care about how your food got to taste the way it does, and you’re a fan of coconut… I say give it a try.  I think you might be pleasantly surprised!